Gary Quinton – Diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease. He died at the age of 84. He also used to get really angry which was uncharacteristic of him. He frequently took my brother and I in the car in the middle of the night because he thought people were coming after us. Little things like that. He moved into a patio home at a retirement village. I immediately knew something was horrible wrong. [–]ChaiTRex 60 points61 points62 points 1 year ago (0 children). This has led to emotional distance within the family due to my uncle at first refusing to acknowledge the situation with his mom, then minimizing it, and then not helping when the situation worsened. Dementia Jokes. My sister remembers my mother better than I can since she’s older than me and was able to appreciate her before I could. Because you're losing the person you knew, and you know they're dying, but they are becoming nicer in themselves. Towards the end, we put him in hospice to die peacefully. I had to hold back tears at this point because it confirmed my suspicion that something was wrong with her. Yes I did this when I was at Alzheimer's Society. My mom has the alzheimer's, and after she retired (which she really wanted to do), she got... sad? In the span of about 3 years he went from being a completely normal old person to slowly loosing his short term memory. I live in California and my parents live in Florida. more >>, Comment replies consisting solely of images will be removed. So one day she came over to our house to take my little sister to her ballet class when she showed the dead baby turtle she had found on her driveway. He was a brilliant technical brain so it was tragic. I'm so sorry you are so overwhelmed. It wasn’t challenging at all! [–]mopedarmy 13 points14 points15 points 1 year ago (0 children). It’s interesting though, as another commentator said, memory is weird. If we ever took her somewhere, it was no longer a day long affair, but more like an hour or two. Sometimes she saw cows across the road in the field. He was OK and remained undiagnosed until one Boxing day. Without that certainty, figuring out what is real becomes an impossible and deeply frustrating task. I recently learned that she can still read if you point at words and ask her what they say. You just want to make them feel understood and that they belong, and that everything is ok. [–]McRedditerFace 57 points58 points59 points 1 year ago (1 child). She was married to her husband since they were 17 and she was 84 when she died. She argued up and down with me for a good solid 5 minutes that it wasn't just the grass and that it was something on the lawn I could easily just rake up. I can't imagine how horrible that must've been at such young, tender ages for you and your brother to witness. Don de Vlaming – Diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease. Also started calling her oldest daughter by grams sisters name. At the beginning, it started with little things like her forgetting ingredients in recipes she had made for years. like trying to convert a widow to her religion at the memorial service. ', [–]doritodink5 63 points64 points65 points 1 year ago (0 children), [–]dusktodawn33 39 points40 points41 points 1 year ago (3 children), How did you get the state to care for him? I always found it interesting when you would learn of this kind of background for the sweetest people. Liz Vercoe talks to four people for whom dementia is or has been a day-to-day experience. more >>, Soliciting money, goods, services, or favours is not allowed. They become very friendly, look you in the eye and are happily to see you but something is missing, they don't talk to you about anything personal. It's the people around them who suffer the most. I don’t know if your about to go through it but it is a disease that really hurts loved ones harder. I see why you might think that, but people with dementia/Alzheimer's aren't consciously changing their personality. So my aunt would literally go from caring for my grandpa (whose dementia made him violent/unpredictable) to then going home and caring for her mother-in-law. [–][deleted] 540 points541 points542 points 1 year ago (39 children), I used to work with the sweetest man with dementia. This was yonks ago but I’ve since heard how nowadays people will get youtube out and bring up old songs and TV shows for people with dementia to watch. I should have said more. She moved to an assisted living facility closer to us when she started having trouble, and it was sad to see. When you are grasping on the memory of a parent and you have conversations that evoke such real emotions like this, it reminds you of who they were and for that instant, it's amazing and you aren't sad about who they have become. Yup, that’s what we went through. She lived in an Alzheimer’s facility and my aunt thought this would stop her from calling her at work, etc. My gram doesnt remember me anymore and really only remembers my mom. I was with him for the last two weeks. I thought he was worrying over nothing, until one day I found several ready meals - out of date by a month - hidden away in the back of her wardrobe. This would include things like getting his work outfit ready for the next day or paying a bill. My mom has a care home and I remmeber my mom brought an old man that boxed. This was the day that I knew that my dad was gone. She's still alive but could pass soon. For those of you who never have had to experience a loved one going through this, especially a parent, consider yourself lucky. ", "have you eaten enough?" [–][deleted] 234 points235 points236 points 1 year ago (11 children). Please look into getting her placed somewhere. In a "Mom, you called me this afternoon" sort of way. I’ve been helping her for a while, but I’ve just landed a great job and have moved cities, so she’s back on her own again. I am so so sorry. Oh yeaaah, it was amazing how my grandpas brain would connect the dots! Eventually conversations became impossible and the only way she could even make words was if you played music she was familiar with. This is what someone with dementia feels, [–]bookworthy 38 points39 points40 points 1 year ago (0 children). Yes, with my grandmother we brought in all her old photos, like ones of her grandparents sitting in stiff clothing from the 1900s. My mother showed me four new bottles of milk in the fridge, all opened and the cream gone. You describe it wonderfully. Would act out, lie, it was just terrible to be honest. It would instantly get her to talk about that and not be upset. Then his memory got dramatically worse and he entered a sort of blissful ignorance. Towards the end with the great aunt, she didn't remember what year it was, and didn't recognize me or my children. My grandmother died about two years ago from Alzheimer’s. Towards the end she had to make two jugs of gravy, one for dad and the other for everyone else. I love you mom. His family therefore decided to write a letter to him detailing his life for the last 10 years or so, including the death of his wife. Personal Stories From Dementia Patients Alzheimer’s and other dementias radically change the lives of patients, caregivers and loved ones. My grandmother would tell my mom and her siblings she just got off the phone with an aunt or sibling who had already been gone for a long time. Then her phoneline went dead because of the switch and my uncle (who did her finances) noticed what was going on and got it reversed. [–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points 1 year ago (1 child). Of the four people who passed when I worked in memory care, two became more lucid at the end. Don't remind her of stuff like that... it isn't worth it. [–]ShiraCheshire 29 points30 points31 points 1 year ago (0 children). (The state penalized him for these gifts by delaying his qualification for 3 months, but we used some of the gifted money to cover the difference between his social security and the cost of the care home.) Have always thought we were extremely lucky to never experience the moodiness. He was always curious, asking for clarification, not unlike a small kid. [–]beckery 225 points226 points227 points 1 year ago (6 children). My mother is always put on a pedestal, she's "always right" so nobody would argue with her. [–]mrdog23 120 points121 points122 points 1 year ago* (5 children). His girlfriend berated me for asking him, when he used to be the parent who made sure my health came first. Appreciate your parents while you still can. That was kind of my grandma. [–][deleted] 214 points215 points216 points 1 year ago (7 children), It's hard not to be cynical sometimes. I've considered myself a mom for my mom for a long time. We kids became more involved when she had her own health troubles. Slowly, her personality started changing - especially in regards to her refusing to go out in social interactions as she was embarrassed she would look “stupid” (her own words). As the “IT” guy in the family I have started helping her with her online accounts. What videogame have you played the most, and why? Same thing has happened with my grandmother. I take the night shift at the hospital, she goes home, and then we switch in the morning. She was briefly hospitalized for this, and as the hallucinations continued in the hospital she swore my uncle had brought the dishwasher. [–][deleted] 18 points19 points20 points 1 year ago (3 children). Dementia is the overall term for memory loss and cognitive impairment that results from diseases such as Alzheimer’s. He confirmed that my mother had severe dementia and that it was rare for her to have it at such a young age. It's worth looking into. [–]enkelvla 90 points91 points92 points 1 year ago (0 children), Yeah I had a patient who worked for my country's equivalent to the french foreign legion most of his life. He would be emotionless, youd have to feed him, and he wouldnt do anything but sit there. Hug your parents. Also know when you do place her she'll probably have a dip and go downhill a bit. I hope you make it through okay. She still wanted to go on walks or drive around the city and we would do just that every once in awhile. This. [–]Hedgiwithapen 91 points92 points93 points 1 year ago (5 children). She chased her husband with a broom, then moved up to a knife. Report comments that violate these rules. It won’t happen very often that he/she is back to their normal self. [–]I_AM_PLUNGER 58 points59 points60 points 1 year ago (2 children). And he would get frustrated if I didn't learn it quick. Thank you for those lovely words. Give them a call. We would get so silly and laugh together, and it felt like we were both present during those times (even though neither of us made much sense). When my grandmother started losing her mind, I was about 19 or 20. It's only a few dollars but they get worked up about it. A year after that, she no longer recognized any of our relatives, except for my father, who took care of her until her last moments. Once we learned that my Grandma had Alzheimer's and learned more about the symptoms, it made sense. My husband works in finance, and when going over their statements, he found some alarming stuff. It seemed so unreal until the day I tried to pat her hand and she came at me. [–]pmw1981 10 points11 points12 points 1 year ago (0 children), My grandma on my dad's side was super sweet, when she started going into dementia she'd forget things really easily. [–]HollyWoodHut 17 points18 points19 points 1 year ago (0 children). She took quite personally things that I was able to let slide. When their pain increased right before going on hospice. Thanks OP for posting this. If you are someone who is experiencing this (and you happened to read this whole thing lol), I highly recommend you to get in touch with people or a support group to help you though these tough times. ._3-SW6hQX6gXK9G4FM74obr{display:inline-block;vertical-align:text-bottom;width:16px;height:16px;font-size:16px;line-height:16px} Toward the end, I stopped correcting him and pretended to be the person he thought I was. ._12xlue8dQ1odPw1J81FIGQ{display:inline-block;vertical-align:middle} He doesn’t remember how to work his phone, his girlfriend won’t pick up, and even if I did tell him these things, he wouldn’t remember. Send us a postcard! So that was sad, she did get a bit calmer once someone could actually speak to her though. Watching what was once this fiercely independent woman who feared nothing deteriorate into a frail, confused person who’s too scared to leave the house is heart breaking. [–]frolicking_elephants 7 points8 points9 points 1 year ago (1 child). She surprised them all. The VA gave him awesome training for living sightless. That wasn’t him anymore. I know it doesn't help much, but know that I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and sending positive thoughts your way. I've heard this from others in my dad's various Alzheimers groups. By that time, he was trying to eat the wooden decorative fruit. I was getting puzzled as to why she couldn't remember things. He was utterly convinced their bed was by the ocean (nevermind that they live a few hundred kilometres inland) because the rushing of cars sounded like waves. Think of them as really old toddlers. I’ll hold on to the American Girl doll he got me for my eleventh birthday forever, and if I ever have a daughter, I’ll pass her on. Hoarding, grumpiness, not following through on simple tasks/chores. I hope your father finds peace, soon. I can't quite believe how quickly it has all happened. You described my father over the past 5 years. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. The weird hallucinations are some of the hardest because they’re so sure of it. [–]miasews 35 points36 points37 points 1 year ago (1 child). My great aunts realized my grandma had a problem when they got a call from a cop in La Porte, TX in the middle of the night. When I did my college placement at Alzheimer's Society, I noticed that some of them would stay stuff like, "I don't remember how old I am. It felt like the world, the people around her, even the neighborhood had all changed rather than her perception. I want to move away. Yes! She told me she wanted me to rake up all the brown stuff from the lawn. Finally, she stopped drinking water. I'm so sorry for what you're going through. [–][deleted] 42 points43 points44 points 1 year ago (2 children). But he always remembered my mom. thanks. We are very lucky that her disease has only affected her memory and not her personality. ._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ{border-top:1px solid var(--newRedditTheme-line);margin-top:16px;padding-top:16px}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN{margin:0;padding:0}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:21px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between;margin:8px 0}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ.QgBK4ECuqpeR2umRjYcP2{opacity:.4}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ label{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ label svg{fill:currentColor;height:20px;margin-right:4px;width:20px}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between;padding:0;width:100%}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_ svg{display:inline-block;height:12px;width:12px}.isInButtons2020 ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_{padding:0 12px}.isInButtons2020 ._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:12px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:unset;line-height:16px;text-transform:unset}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F{--textColor:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor);--textColorHover:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColorShaded80);font-size:10px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;line-height:12px;text-transform:uppercase;color:var(--textColor);fill:var(--textColor);opacity:1}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F._2UlgIO1LIFVpT30ItAtPfb{--textColor:var(--newRedditTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor);--textColorHover:var(--newRedditTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColorShaded80)}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:active,._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:hover{color:var(--textColorHover);fill:var(--textColorHover)}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:disabled,._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F[data-disabled],._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F[disabled]{opacity:.5;cursor:not-allowed} He shouldn’t be driving, and has admitted it, but his new girlfriend made sure he has a car so that she doesn’t always have to drive him places. The good news is she has adapted to me caring for her and recognizes that she forgets. My dad started getting lost driving to/from short errands he'd done hundreds of times. Who we were, how to take care of himself, etc. He went into a coma and never woke up and stopped breathing before i could get to the home. I miss her ): There was this one time I went to visit alone, and when my parents visited the next day, she told them she couldn't remember who it was, but the nicest young lady had come to see her (and brought a cheeseburger!) Eventually his family took him. Me: Just talking about rabbits, grandma.Grandma: Oh i hope their fur doesn't get wet... it rained today. And even up to the end when she was largely non-verbal, she would somehow pipe up and correct someone’s grammar. Within a matter of three years, she cannot form coherent sentences nor can she say individual words. They’re scared. By Christmas, she couldn't even speak. I don't unless they ask straight out. He was relatively tech savvy for a senior citizen, but he started forgetting how to work his computer and his phone over time. ._2cHgYGbfV9EZMSThqLt2tx{margin-bottom:16px;border-radius:4px}._3Q7WCNdCi77r0_CKPoDSFY{width:75%;height:24px}._2wgLWvNKnhoJX3DUVT_3F-,._3Q7WCNdCi77r0_CKPoDSFY{background:var(--newCommunityTheme-field);background-size:200%;margin-bottom:16px;border-radius:4px}._2wgLWvNKnhoJX3DUVT_3F-{width:100%;height:46px} But he was never admitted. I witnessed a bit of it from visiting, and she was worse every time, so I feel like I saw the spiral. My grandmother doesn't really has short time memory anymore. and it would seem like a brief form of clarity in them, and it was sad to see. /*# sourceMappingURL=https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/chunkCSS/ReredditLink.f7b66a91705891e84a09.css.map*/She also thought I was my mother. Or he’d think certain technologies connected to each other, like a tv to a old record player, that sort of thing. Grandma: Slip... slip... slippers.... did i lose my slippers? I certainly wasn't alive then and my mother was born that year, so I'm left wondering who she thought I was then. Her grammar also became extremely poor. The next morning he came out of the guest room and said somehow I have a bunch of your information in my bag. My grandmother started this a year ago :( and it just keeps getting worse. I apologize for this huge wall of text. This sudden strange behaviour is a symptom of neurological & mental problems like dementia, TBI and tumors, or psychosis and related issues. She’s in her 90’s now and barely remembers any of us. If OP is in Canada, get in touch with the local Alzheimer’s Society, they’ll have all the information on hand and can help teach OP how to be an advocate for his dad. We often go shopping and she will see something she thinks I may like and gets it for me. We were lucky that she didn’t have any of the issues with things like aggression like some people have mentioned in this thread. Best wishes to you, your father & family. Not in a "not paying attention" kind of way. They took him to hospice on my birthday. My grandma who lived with us at the time started telling my aunts and uncles that my mom was stealing her money. If they are looking for mom/dad, it's a sign they feel lost/insecure. In less than two years’ time, I’m going to be a nurse, with a bachelor’s degree! She knew every Elvis song by heart until damn near the end. The agent explained that she had been explaining the process to my mom all day and that she was concerned about my mom because she seemed very confused and couldn’t understand what was going on. To guess what she had all the kind words ( and it was the... Top of taking care of her. contact the moderators of this ( 9 children.. 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